Polar Bear

Polar Bear
My Boy

Sunday, December 2, 2012

I'm Baaaaaack!

"Well, where the hell have you been?!?", you ask?  Sitting here watching the horrid Dallas Cowboys, screeching at my dog for constantly licking her vagina, realizing it's not the shitty football or the canine cunnilingus, it's my nerves getting the best of me.

Yes, I am back to the blogosphere, mainly because I need balance.  Repeat with me...*Ohm*...  No, I am not getting all new-wavey (if that is even a word), but this girl needs an outlet.  Lord knows I don't want to start 'Penny's Page' blog years from now, lamenting how I never let my poor dog just clean her cooch because I was secretly jealous.  

So I gotta stop losing my temper, as I am sure my neighbors think I am nuts, and my dogs are planning mutiny...those that can hear, that is (my deaf dog loves me no matter how much I yell).  Here he is after I hollered at him to get off my lap until I had a mini-stroke...
And yes he is 140 pounds and his nose is right under my chin here.  Mushy-faced bastard-so damn cute.

Anyway, I digress.  I do have to say I missed you all.  Hard to believe since we have never actually *met*, per se.  But holy hell I've been wicked busy.  Boss is worse than ever, trying to hold me hostage from defending and graduating by holding my manuscripts from being published.  So what did I do, I went cra-cra, lost my shit, and set my defense date anyway!  Mwa-hahahaha.  Right?!?!?  I am the evil genius, right?!?!?  Not bat crazy for pissing him off further?  Oh holy shit, did I fuck myself further?  Yikers.  

Hence I need you lovely peeps to balance my mood, need to return to my outlet here with you all my bloggy family in order to really not force my husband to commit me...because he has been kinda treating me like a man treats a crying woman-with a little sympathy, a coffee-table cliche, and a whole-lotta wide berth.

Did I mention I gained some weight back?  But guess what?!?!  The rest of my life is so insane that losing the weight is not even an insomnia-inducing niggling in the back of my brain, more like 'if it's gotta be done, I'll do it'.  I guess my priorities are a bit different than last time.  Sure I want to lose weight and look better, so I will.  Simple as that.   Having my other shit turn cock-ass to the moon helps with not worrying about a pound here and there.  The good news-I'm not obsessing, the bad news-not obsessing got me here back to fatty mcfatterton in the first place.

Before I get a myriad of 'use your words'-type political correctors emailing me about my weight loss 'obsessing', take a proz-zol-ambien for Christ's sake.  I have NEVER told anyone how they should lose weight, only asked that if you want to do it, do it or shut up about it.  For me, I must obsess to really do it.  

Obsessing for me means a full-body/mind focus, which considering my current life insanities, probably means I will have trouble staying straight, getting my butt off the couch, putting down the Pringles, etc., ad naseum.  But I'll give it a shot, and look forward to you peeps keeping me honest every step of the way-again.  Thankfully I don't have as far to go as last time, and this time I will not be using Medifast, as I am not sure I will ever look at oatmeal or a smores bar the same.  This time will be slow, less insane, and I'm cool with that-for now. ;-)