Polar Bear

Polar Bear
My Boy

Monday, January 2, 2012

The Chocolate Cake that Never Was

So, yes, as it turns out I am a dog, because I still reward myself with food...to be specific, I rewarded myself for a decent year where I managed to lose a shitload of weight and keep most of it off.

And I rewarded myself for not eating my way through the holidays...of course I did so by eating this chocolate cake...my favorite, from Grand Lux Cafe...



The irony is so thick it is almost choking me.  Yes, I am an idiot.


What's worse is that afterward I felt soooo glass-half-empty...





So I guess it turns out...



So is that good news or bad news???  Well considering I ate probably a 2000 calorie piece of cake and felt so anti-climactic I wanted to cry, I'd say this is more than just a shitty piece of cake not holding up it's end of the bargan.

I believe in fact it is the Post-Christmas Blues-aka New Year not so happy...but I have no excuse.  In fact I took off the latter half of last week in the hopes to find my mojo again, and yet I feel equally bummed and equally pissed off at myself for being bummed...

So I told hubs next time I want that cake remind me how not thrilled I was with it this time...of course he said yes, and of course I will forget...ah gotta love the selective memory of an obese brain!

Now of course I want to go home and eat junk, which of course does not exist in my house for times much like this when I could eat the granite off the countertops.  So, no, I am not thinking about resolutions, about continuing my diet, about being happy in love, life, etc.  

And naturally, as utter cockup may have it, I am back to feeling like everyone is whispering about me behind my back...


Where's a good acid trip when you need one???

Fucking cake...

10 comments:

Christie said...

Oh no...perhaps you should take this with you next time you are going to where you could consider that piece of cake, because this post makes me want to NEVER eat chocolate cake again. Oddly enough...if I am just being honest it did make me go to "that place" and think about potatoe chips. You will find your mojo and you will pick yourself up, because I have faith in you. A whole host of other people who read your blog have faith in you. We know what you can't remember today and that is that this is just a bad day and you will walk away from it and into a new day where you can choose your path. Chin up...feel better. We've all been there.

Sarah said...

I'm not gonna lie, when I saw the picture of the cake my mouth started watering. I'm glad you said it was not that good, because that helped my craving to try and eat my computer screen.

I hope you get back in the groove for 2012.

Sarah
notaneffingdiet.blogspot.com

Mom to the Fourth Power said...

Good news... tomorrow is a NEW DAY! You have come so far, I'm sure this is not gonna whip you in the least. Just a bump to get over! I'm rootin' for ya - I've been there - not that long ago actually!

Take care!!
~Margene

PS - pleeze ease up on the swears, my friend!

BeesKnees said...

Fucking cake, indeed. I wish you would have at least enjoyed the cake, because then you wouldn't feel so bad for having downed so many calories - or at least I wouldn't have - that's how I justify it at least lol. But seriously, I get the after Holiday blues too, every damn year so I'm right there with ya Hun!

Shannon B. said...

Damn, that cake was an asshole huh? All those bad feelings from one slab of chocolate deliciousness...such a bitch!

My advice, let it go. So you kicked ass and lost lots of weight. I'm proud! So you celebrated with cake....it looked damn good! That was a moment in time and it's time to let it go rather than have it define your new year. You'll get your mojo back, you just gotta let go of the cake guilt!

Love your blog, curse words and all, it's honest and that makes you real to me. Keep it up and I'll be right here, read along...

The Ninja said...

In my case it's been fucking fudge. Except it's as good as it looks, and my gramma makes it for me every Christmas. The rub: My kids hate it, so I can't even get them to eat half and keep me from inhaling it.

So the cake sucked, so you overate a bit, so what? You still rock pretty hard in my book.

HugS PM!!!

BeesKnees said...

Thank YOU for my package got it yesterday! Been playing around with recipes all day. You are AWESOME!

Thanks again,
Christina

Rapunzel said...

Reiterating what others have said, Let It Go! The cake is gone, as is that day. Applaud yourself for all the other temptations you resisted, and move on. I am experiencing a bit of the post-holiday blues as well, looking to find solace in something other than cake!

xoxooxx

Charlotte said...

That does look like one evil cake. Maybe next time a craving hits you can remember it wasn't as fab as you thought it would be. I've been off blogs for awhile, and I just caught up on yours. You look amazing! You're doing great!

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