Polar Bear

Polar Bear
My Boy

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Reject the Reeses!

Ok, so what if I keep chanting this in my head?  Do you think it makes me run from the Reeses?  NOOOOOO.  I even went so far as to think to myself-one won't be THAT bad.
Me:  Up at dawn, fetal position in the closet lover of Reesus
Am I fucking crazy?  There are 115 calories in ONE cup and get this-just shy of 7 GRAMS OF FAT.  That is insane.  Insane to think I used to sit down and eat half a bag, insane that I thought I could just sneak one in now.  

Justification is a four letter word
Insane that I would have to suffer about 10 more minutes on the elliptical to burn it off.  Insane that I could eat about 30 slices of turkey pepperoni to equal that one cup.  That kind of justifying craziness could turn me to NASTY extremes...

Not to mention that like Lay's, you can't eat just one-especially since the other cup looks up at me so longingly from his lonely place in the cardboard tray.  Yikes-dodged a minefield there...that would have opened up a very expensive can of worms.
And to think I squeezed into my size 12 corduroys yesterday.  Stay the course-Reject the Reeses, reject the Reeses! 

I am happy to report that I lost 3 pounds this week-and after watching the scale sway over the course of a pound, we chose the middle value that stayed put for about 10 seconds.  Just goes to show you how finicky and sensitive those digital scales are!!

Here's to a great Halloween, and much willpower to go around!!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

I am NOT a loser!!

Hell yes to NSVs, my peeps!

Today I had TWO.  Count 'em and weep.

Ok, I am done gloating and my inferiority complex is out sunning it's fat pimpled ass again...

So not only can I fit into one pair of my fancy, pre-fatty fatass pants (Paige Premium Denim, people, and not even a flair style!!), but there was NO muffin top or laying on the bed sucking it in to zipper, and no ripping off belt loops while jumping up and down.  YOU know who you are.  There is usually not a belt loop safe around me... ;-)

The tightest part was my calves, if you can believe that.  Weird.  Thighs were fitted but sit-able, waist and midsection were surprisingly loose.

Super cool, I'm totally psyched.  I know to my male readers it may not seem like a big deal, but ladies you know of which I speak.  The door is opening to my cute clothes closet again!  This is so important to self-confidence for me, since one cannot survive on dark, solid clothes alone...

Second, I was given an award today for a science-y competition.  I submitted an abstract to a national science research society, and out of 70 submissions, I was one of six winners.  YAY ME!

Ok, so I wasn't completely honest with the gloating being done-sorry about that.  NOT REALLY-'CAUSE I ROCK!!!  Mwa-hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Have a great Thursday peeps.  Kick ass and take names.

HOT 100 update:
1.  Lost 1.5 pounds last week-apparently (not sure if I believe that whole thing)
2.  Have not gone over 2000 calories-the true is this weekend!
3.  No week with a gain yet.

Holding steady on my goals, fellow hotties!

Monday, October 25, 2010

In Lieu of Candy

So Lanie's post tonight about whether to candy or not to candy for Halloween-I decided that was the question...since I'm such a freaking poet.

Just call me Willa Shakespeare

For us-hubs and I, we are not, NOT, buying any candy.  I am too much of a Reesus whore to even allow a bag in the house.  The Dove survive okay because they have no PEANUT BUTTER.

This kid is a genius!
 Anywho, the other day at work I was talking to a co-worker and we talked about the old days when some people would give out candied apples.  I realize this was not a great nutritional choice, but better than a bag of candy I think.  Of course this was before psychos stuck razors in candy or poisoned apples-wait, I think that was my evil mother in law-ooops I mean the evil step mother queen from Snow White.  Just kidding, honey, I love your Mom.

I love my MIL, I love my MIL...
But what gets me is the beginning of the TV show "Too Fat for 15", when they state that 'this is the first generation of kids that will not live as long as their parents'.  

Knowing that childhood obesity is running rampant in this country, and that obesity is the root of almost all the biggest killers in terms of diseases in the US, I have to wonder if candy is the right choice.
Childhood Obesity:  I know this is blurry, but its important...
Sure Hershey and Nestle might take a hit, but maybe the kids deserve something better.  Sure, if I was a kid, I would be pissed, because I loved trick-or-treating for candy, but maybe we should help them learn from our mistakes?
Seriously?!?  Did his wife approve that diaper??

So my question to you is, what BESIDES candy can make a good trick-or-treating alternative to the sugary crap?
Cologne!!!  I shit you not!!!
Give me your awesome ideas people!

Saturday, October 23, 2010

How hard is it to read a scale?!?!?!

So I step on my scale at home this morning before going to weigh in-you know to get an idea of how bad it would be this week compared to my other weeks.  Now our scale at home is consistently 1 pound heavier than what I weigh in at Medifast.  But even keeping that in mind, it said I still lost 1 pound from last week.  

So I go in and my counselor isn't there, so I get this new chick that started last week.  She tells me to step on the scale and 2 seconds later tells me to step off.  Now this is one of those fancy digital scales that you have to stand on for at least 10 seconds before it stops moving down.  Hubby confirmed that it was still moving quickly when I stepped off-since I don't look directly at the scale.  

SO she says I lost 1.5 pounds.  Um really???  So I say that is strange because I typically lose at least 3 pounds.  Then she starts preaching to me about plateaus, and I KNOW I don't plateau until about 180 pounds.  

Realistically with my slight eating off plan at the meeting in SLC, I figured to lose closer to 2.5-3 after crunching the numbers.  So I realize this is a lost cause to continue questioning her about it, because she was obviously frazzled and having a stupid day.  I would have liked to stand on the scale longer.  Oh well.  Next week I suspect a large loss will present itself...

Thanks for letting me vent.  No need to console me, I'm just angry to have encountered that much idiocy so early in the morning.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Hot 100 update

In spite of the trip away, I think I did pretty well this week-but the true test will come tomorrow at weigh in...

1.  I lost 3.5 pounds last week-this week I think I'm looking more like 2.5-3, since I did eat slightly off plan in SLC.  Hoping those mashed potatoes and half a chicken caesar wrap don't screw me too bad, or rather hope I didn't screw myself too bad by ingesting them.  Still not sure if there is any way in hell that I can reach goal by Jan 1...I'm sure gonna try!!!  Talk about the best Christmas present EVER!

2.  I haven't eaten over 2000 calories a day, but the holidays haven't hit yet either.  I was SO yearning for a Dove dark chocolate yesterday, but everytime I do I just look at the calories and realize that is another 1-2 minutes I would have to spend on the elliptical-and honestly it is NOT worth it.

3.  Still had a loss last week, so that falls in with the goals, too.

Hope you all had a great week on plan...

Now for a topic-I read alot of blogs, in spite of the fact that I haven't posted/commented alot lately, and there is so much negativity.  Stress about what to eat, stress about what not to eat, stress about cheating before cheating occurs.  I do this, too, and believe me, I realize that dieting is NO walk in the park and not even close to a day at the beach.  Unfortunately I find that those NSV or happy moments are further in between-especially with the looming holidays.

Now I'm not a touchy-feely person, but I really try to look at the positive of dieting and be happy about it, believe it or not.  Every morning I look at my shrinking midsection in the mirror (since I have no full length mirror), and after the mirror shatters of course I think to myself Wow, that is different.  Less chunk more curve.

For me, the stress and pushing myself almost towards a negative place keeps me moving, keeps me from the Dove, but honestly is it really helpful?

I realize that focusing and blogging about the stress are what keep our supportive unit in tact and keeps us motivated, but hopefully that is not all we are feeling, right?  Right?!?!

So I vow from here on to post more NSVs and happy moments, because all that doom and gloom feels a little like North Korea to me...

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Diet-Friendly Restaurants-add your 2 cents!

After posting yesterday I thought of this idea...  I realize that most of us have the most difficulty sticking to diets when we go out to eat.  However, I don't feel that while dieting we should be restricted to our homes.

I think being a prisoner to our own refrigerators would lead to dieting burnout VERY quickly.  But dieting is a change of mindset-a life change, so we can't avoid the evils of restaurants forever.

Plus, there are some good chain options out there with customizable options and an extended healthy menu section.

So what I ask of you is if you have come across some GOOD restaurants for eating healthy-chains would be preferrable since they are everywhere and everyone can find one.

For instance, though Pappadeaux Seafood is known for fried foods, I ate there last week, and they have an ENORMOUS 'from the grill' selection of seafood, and they were very happy to customize anything I wanted (no dirty rice, roasted veggies instead).

Also, another seafood place here in Texas called Chamberlains has a very healthy variety of seafood, and much of it is broiled or grilled.

So are there any more restaurants that you feel comfortable going to while dieting?

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Eating on the Road

Well, I just got back in town.  I had a science meeting in Salt Lake City for a few days.

Many props to the U of U-I had a really nice time-and it is really beautiful.  Much better than I remember it last time-when I was stuck there overnight because we missed our connection to Las Vegas-which was not a fond memory.

Honestly I was quite a bit anxious about it all.  As you may know, it is rather difficult to stick to a strict diet when you are eating on a schedule at scheduled meals in scheduled restaurants.  So much for eating like a rabbit...

So let's see, I had a grilled chicken breast, a bit larger than I would normally eat, but half of what was on my plate-if you can imagine that.  BUT...I also had half of the mashed potatoes on my plate, which thanks to the monster chicken boob there was not much that could fit after the bird was settled in on the porcelain...

Even as I ate them, I felt guilty.  See-taters and all starchy high carb veggies are off diet.  
I brought my bars and ate one for breakfast, then at lunch the next day, I admit to eating half of a grilled chicken caesar wrap.

So after this unnatural decadence was done and I returned home last night, the guilt disappeared.  And I realized why-see even though I ate pretty decently, but the food was 'off' diet, it wasn't 'orgasmic'.  

I thought back to those eating experiences, and others around me polished off their food, seemed to really like it, so it wasn't that the food wasn't tasty or well made.

It just honestly wasn't as good as I remembered it.  That's it.  No fireworks, no orgasms, no food babies.  It was food, I ate it, then I wasn't hungry, and that was that-no endless binge, no food frenzy for anything edible or rather anything not nailed down when I was later alone.

So even if I lose less than my standard 3 this week because of those illegal items, I am happy that I gained one thing-the realization that being free to eat doesn't automatically spell failure.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Hell-bent and Intolerant of Crap

Need to vent-warning this will be worse than the Oprah thing...and if you aren't a sports fan skip up to the dotted line.

Last night hubby and I went to see the first ALCS baseball game-the Texas Rangers versus the New York Yankees.  In addition to my obvious unnatural obsession with Derek Jeter, I have been a die-hard Yankees fan for almost 24 years.  

Yeah, he's hideous.

Which I might add is much less than my grandmother's 85+ years of being a fan.  She was a fan back in the days of Ruth, and Gehrig, all the way through DiMaggio, Mantle and Maris-so I guess it's genetic.  She could not go with us to the game, mainly because she has alot of health issues, but also because she is 96 and it is not a good idea to have maggoty kids breath and wipe their boogery fingers on her.  So she chilled at home with Satan spawn-they were rapty attentive to the game on TBS...

Not sure which is more spoiled...
So being a Yankees fan, I have been lucky to see many postseason baseball games.  However, it was painfully obvious that the Rangers fans had not seen a playoff game in over a decade.  PAIN-FULL-Y.

Not only did we have about 5 petri-dishes sitting in our row with equally annoying and gross parents, but then every inning, kids were up with parents to empty their pea-sized bladders, and returned with monster sodas and cotton candy/nachos/nasty hotdogs/etc.  Just crap.  That they ate half of...fucking squanderers!!

What's worse is that their parents, having obviously bought tickets for the first time, had NO baseball etiquette.

So here are my rules for observing sports-for all of you to follow and take to your graves.  Maybe you know these, maybe you don't-but I strongly suggest adherence, because any shred of patience I had was lost last night-and if you screw these up and are sitting by me I will go ape-shit on your ass.  I swear.  


1.  If you have to go to the bathroom, wait until the current play/batter/point is done-or wait for a break in play completely-like a timeout or half inning.  Please.  Because next time not only will I trip you on your way out the aisle, but I'll kick your aggravating ass down the stairs.  On accident of course.  I swear, Your Honor.

2.  If EVERYONE in front of you is sitting, and you are standing, turn around.  I guarantee everyone is either sitting and looking at you with the anger of a thousand suns, or standing and staring at you with the anger of a thousand hornets because their legs are cramping up a storm.  SO SIT THE FUCK DOWN.  Standing for important game changers and cheering is totally cool, or if it is tradition for everyone to stand all the time...

3.  If you are very annoyingly cheering and shouting and being horrible to warrant baby midget kicks in the shins, then when the tides turn and your team is losing, do NOT get angry or yell at the other teams fans for cheering.  Do not tell them to sit down and shut up.  I agree that no matter who your team is, taunting is not cool, but turn about is fair play.    Suck it up, shit happens and your team may choke on a splinter so don't count your chickens.  You get me?

4.  Act like you've been there before.  What I mean by this is that going apeshit because your team hasn't been there in 10+ years, then getting pissed and BOOING when your team starts losing is absolutely ridiculous.  Sports, like in life, are filled with ups and downs-don't let everything ride all the time or you'll drop dead, look for the ups, but save some staying power for the downs.
Anyway, I just had to say something, because all this crap made me realize that I am THE most impatient and intolerant person in the world.  I am physically incapable of dealing with morons.

On the plus side, I realized this lends me very well when it comes to dieting.  Let me explain...

Many bloggers have told me that as long as I am losing, that I should be happy that the scale is going in the right direction-and I really appreciate this support.  But the reason I get so worked up when I lose small amounts, is that my impatience is eating me from the inside out.  See, on Medifast, I eat 5 meal replacements a day, which are bars/shakes/crackery things etc high in protein, low in carbs and calories and around 100 calories a piece.  Then I eat one lean and green meal (protein+veggies).

I am so FUCKING sick of eating like this, however, it is super easy.  However, anything I can do to shorten the time I have to eat like this I will do-aside from cutting calories or increasing my exercise, which is not healthy or allowed on this plan.  Therefore, I bust my butt, I don't cheat, and I am religious with this shit, because I CANNOT wait to be skinny.

Literally and physically, I want to be done SOON.  So I can get into maintenance and wear skinny clothes.  So sue me if that sounds harsh or materialistic.  Fuck that, the sooner I am done, the better-because I guarantee you that losing weight quickly is healthier than being obese-a lesser of two evils.  Oh, and did I mention that Medifast is EXPENSIVE?  My health is worth it, but a few bucks saved would be nice.

Many people tell me I am doing so well, that I inspire them to do well, that my progress is great.  So what if my success is due in part to some of my worse qualities.  I figured these 'issues' of mine had to help me out eventually... ;-)

So I lost 3.5 pounds this week, but it is probably more like 3 pounds since I was wearing lighter clothes.  

So my question to you is what is the difference in your attitude or mindframe between your 'good eating' weeks, and those in which you are a little more lax (not necessarily cheating but not as strict)?  
For instance, do you trust your dieting process too much and lose a little focus or relax? Do you restrict less because you are happy with your losses?  Do you placate yourself by saying 'I should not lose too much weight/week' and therefore allow certain foods that you don't necessarily need to eat?

I am glad to know there aren't other people like me who are immensely impatient and overanalytical, because it is exhausting and stressful, but maybe sometimes a bee in the bonnet is a good motivator to get moving...thoughts?

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Through Polar's Eyes

I was riding the elliptical like a beast before...then a song came on my iPod...

It is called Moth's Wings, by a band called Passion Pit.  The lyrics are the type that you can connect to anything happening in your life-but the melody...Wow, that is something entirely different.  The best way I can say it is that it is gut-wrenching-like a gateway to some buried memories.

This song always makes me think of Polar.  So I started sobbing.  On the elliptical.  With my heart rate at about 170.  I realized that was not really conducive to breathing at the same time.  Pauli was ready to dial 911...because we all know she can. ;-)

To me that song is about figuring out what's wrong, feeling like you are not alone, and moving on.

As the human race we are built to evolve, but does that mean moving past what and those who made us who we are?  Forgetting our teachers after learning our lessons?

Well, Polar was my life lesson.

See I have often stated why I am trying to get fit, because he SO wanted to be active, to be healthy, and he couldn't when he got Wobbler's, and shame on me for having the ability and squandering it sitting on the couch and stuffing my face-glued to the TV.

So I thought about it and realized how he has changed me-some may think that I am strange to value him so much, that it is odd to learn so much from a dog, excuse me but to that I say fuck you, at least I learned something.

Therefore, I will NOT go through life just existing-breathing in and out is NOT good enough.  

Everyday Polar was up, exploring his world, pushing his limits.  EVERY DAY.  He learned he liked to stand in front of the leaf blower-feel the wind on his face or butt, whichever suited him at the moment.  How did he learn that?  He put himself out there and took a chance. In spite of the scary leafblower. 

He learned that I wouldn't hurt him when I squeezed his floppy snoz and gums-and he looked everyone in the eye.  That's how I knew he loved me, because he looked me eye to eye, trusted me, and let me kiss his mushy face.  How many dogs do you know that will let you mush their faces without pulling away?  The guy was fearless, but he wore his heart on his sleeve.  Think Ferdinand the Bull.

He gave everyone a chance, no pre-judgement, no matter how bad they smelled.  Only when they wronged him did they lose his trust.  If only to give trust like that, I would be as loved as he was by so many.

He wanted to be a part of something special, he wanted to help.  He'd follow us around, stick his nose into everything we were doing-literally.  He was set on bettering himself and his world. Broadening his horizons.  Not skating by in life or flitting away his minutes-like he KNEW this was his one chance to be something special.

He was never jealous, fierce, or petty-I cannot say the same for myself.

SO WHAT if I learned so much from a DOG, a lower life form, a bag of furry bones?  I learned not to squander the seconds, to grab all the sunshine I could, to leave everyone and everything better off than I found it-including myself.

I will win this battle, because I am evolving, and I will never forget that big, white, furry lesson that gets me to the finish line.  I wish you all the same soul-bending force in your lives.  

So because I had a great teacher in the most unlikely of forms-this is the loop in my head:  Treat your body well, move more for those who cannot, make a difference for others by pushing your own limits and expectations, open your mind to recognize gifts in any form.

To those who know how I feel-I wish you peace and happy memories in the place of grief...

SFP's Chassis

Hot 100 update #3:
1.  Lost 3.5 pounds last week-may not reach goal but sure gonna try
2.  Have stayed under 2000 calories-by far, though not the Horrodays yet
3.  No weeks without a loss yet, but I did eat alot of turkey pepperoni this week...

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Enough money in which to bathe naked...

And I ain't talking about dollar bills...  Hamilton, Jefferson, Grant por favor.

Not the dudes themselves (I am a married woman!), just the green.  Oh and minus the paper cuts-yikers.
How else you gonna keep people away from your dough? ;-)

So as I was SUCKED into watching The Biggest Loser last night, because Glee was taping and I save it to watch with hubby, I saw their ad for the Biggest Loser Resort/Camp/whatthefuckever-its-called.

And I thought-how the hell long would I have to go there in order to reach goal?

Then I thought-I'd have to mortgage my house, if I owned one, or mortgage my ass to a pimp, which I do own-in abundance.

Pun intended-Mwaaaahaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaa!

Then I thought of Oprah, and I got super pissed as I usually do when I think of her smug ass.  And don't bitch at me about her schools in Africa and whatever else she is using as a tax shelter for her billions.

I thought-if I had all that GD money that she does-there is NO FUCKING WAY I would be fat.  Ever.  Even if I had to hire someone to follow three steps behind me with a remote to the shock collar around my neck, and zap me when I picked up the cookies (or fried butter, don't think I forgot that sexy visual, Oprah!), I'd be thinner.

Nice fucking hat
And I thought, if I had all that money, what exactly would I change about my weight loss now?  For instance-hit the Powerball tomorrow, what would I do? 

Wouldn't kick him out of bed for eating crackers...

Hire that Gunnar guy-that super duper celeb trainer badass?  Go to a fatty camp in the mountains of Colorado or the beaches of Hawaii?  Hire a live-in cook?  Or would I do it all the same?

French fat camp-NO SHIT!!  But no cheese-boo hiss.
What would you change about your weight loss program/routine if money were NO object?  Healthy is obviously the way to go-but how specifically?  Be honest!  There are no points here!


Tuesday, October 12, 2010

When 'obesity' doesn't bother you anymore

Since I go to many science seminars, and because cardiovascular disease (what I work on) is largely connected to metabolic diseases, such as diabetes, I hear alot about fat.
White adipose, brown adipose, lean mass etc...  But one word that comes up often is obesity-for obvious reasons.  'Obesity' made me cringe.

Before I started my diet, I used to constantly think that whenever a speaker mentioned the word 'obesity' that he/she specifically didn't look at me because I was obese, or that everyone in the room (behind my field of vision of course) is staring at the obese back of my head.

Such thoughts use to rub at my subconscious, "SHE is obese, how could she let herself get so fat", "that mouse that can't clear plasma fats is huge, I bet it's fat cells look just like HERS".  And so on... The paranoia was endless really.

However I think I turned a corner this morning, as our speaker in lab meeting was talking about various kinds of adipose and body fat measurements, and I didn't feel so much like the elephant in the room as I used to...

In fact I asked a question-that may or may not have required me to speak the 'o' word outside of my head, honestly I cannot remember as it was such a rush just to speak up for once.  

And I didn't feel like a blubbery, gross mess, or that others thought of me that way.
  I felt completely AVERAGE-though I am not quite there yet as the scale likes to remind me-but I blended into the wallpaper-and that was SO COOL with me!!

Monday, October 11, 2010

Grandmas don't Lie-NSV

So I don't know if you all remember when I mentioned that my mother's Mom-my grandmother-is a vicious intellect, with NO filter-constant logorrhea.  She has been this way her WHOLE life, so it wasn't merely a side-effect of old age.

A warning would be nice...
This is the same woman who told my Mom she looked pregnant about to deliver when she was 15 pounds overweight.

They actually have shirts like this-who the fuck wears them??

We all went to dinner last night, me and hubby, the parents, and Nana.

I caught her looking at me strangely, grade A stank eye to be exact, and I figured I was in for another one of her comments-but she said nothing...

My mom called me later and said that my grandma said that everytime she sees me lately I appear to be less and less and that I am really looking good.  So my Mom says, "why don't you tell her that?".  Nana replies, "because I never know how to say these things properly".  Bah-dum-pum.  How's that for a punchline.

So my Mom agrees with her, both of them saying I'm sensitive.

Uh, what?  'Scuse me?  So I say to Mom, "yeah I'm sensitive because no one likes to be told that they are fat, but if someone is telling me I'm skinny, I can hear that 50,000 different ways and it will all sound good to me."  Duh.

So that was a small victory.

That and the fact that Karate Kid is on now-just in time for the crane music montage!!

You're the best around, nothing's gonna ever keep you down!!

Take a lesson from Mr. Miagi-that dude knows his shit!

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Lighter Pants-does that count?

I did it, somehow I lost -3.5 pounds this week.  Hubby was looking when counselor wrote down the weight and I thought he mouthed to me that I lost 1.5 pounds.  I almost had a heart attack.  No offense to those who lose 1.5, of course, but that really would have ruined my weekend.  And on the flip side if missing one workout would have that big an effect, I'd probably work out 2 hours a day...

Actually after my skipping Wednesday's workout, I expected the smaller loss-but I still would have been mortified.  It's like you talk yourself into the fact of what could very possibly happen, expecting the worst, but when it does happen you are still not ready for it.  Weird, I know.

So that was good.  Of course the pants I wore today were 4 ounces lighter than my typical pants.  Does that negate my -0.5 loss? I sure the hell hope not.  After all, I do wear my flip flops for all weigh ins, so that should count for something, right? ;-)

The game was fun, hubby had a Kobe burger with green chile sauce, of which I took a bunless bite, and it was tasty.  Then he had chili cheese nachos, and I ate a jalapeno slice that had touched chili and cheese, and I could taste every molecule of it on that pepper.  This must be what dogs feel like-super sense of taste and smell.  I think I appreciated that little whiff more than if I hadn't been on a diet.

I tried to talk him into getting more food, so that I could eat vicariously through him, but he was stuffed like a Thanksgiving turkey at that point.  Pussy. ;-)

On another high note, Miss Christine gave me an award:  Thanks Chica!!!

As part of this award, I must nominate a few others (it won't be the full 15) and share seven things about myself:
So I made my husband name the seven things...
1. I love the NY Yankees-you do remember that I am Mrs. Derek Jeter the 2nd?
2.  I love animals-except cockroaches, flies, and mosquitoes-and will go out of my way to get them out of the house safely
3.  I have a handbag fetish in addition to my shoe fetish-hey they always fit!
4.  When I make my fortune, I will buy either the Cadillac XLR or a Porsche Carrera
5.  When I win the lottery, I will rent out umbrellas on a beach somewhere
6.  I hate my husband's driving-I always tell him to slow down so he doesn't hit any animals/people
7.  Among other, I like period pieces in movies-Just saw 'The Young Victoria'-great movie

The nominees:
1.  Aliana-one bitching Canuck
2.  Tamika-one cool chick and her slutty bikini
3.  Sue-my favorite Aussie-tied with Hugh Jackman, that is...
4.  Jennifer-she has this already but I don't give a good damn
5.  The divine Miss B-she has this, too, but she's my sista from another mista
6.  D.Reeve-very nice gal, super supportive

Overall, it was a great day-hope yours was grand, too!

Friday, October 8, 2010

Non Food Weekend!

Hubby and I actually have plans this weekend-well tonight and tomorrow anyway-go figure!

Tonight is Joel McHale, a comedian and also the host of Talk Soup...

We are fans of seeing comedy, we got into this in Las Vegas one time-of course we never sit too close to the front!  That is asking to get slammed with a fat joke...

We saw Wayne Brady, who is so damn smart, and Ray Romano with Kevin James-Ray was actually better than Kevin, especially off the cuff.  Surprised us, and it was such a good time.

Then we saw Dennis Leary and a couple other guys from Rescue Me.  I think the funniest of the group was actually the Leutenant from the show-Needles I think his name is...anyway, he had good material.

So tonight it is Joel, and we have good seats, just not front row.

Tomorrow is the Southwest classic, or whatever the hell Jerry Jones is marketing it as now, where the Texas A&M Aggies will face the Arkansas Razorbacks.  Not quite sure how it will turn out, but promises to be a good rowdy game.

And of course, dum da dum-dum-weigh in at 10:15 am...hope I can poop a pound before I go...

Looking forward to it, as always.  ;-)

The guilt from not working out Wednesday has me scared of the scale.  And I am trying to figure out what I should eat tonight-something light and non-water retaining...  I had a cooked egg with a slice of FF cheese on it last night, it was so good.  But maybe I should go salmon burger or chicken breast instead.

Say anyone know of a protein cracker, or low carb/fat cracker?  I've heard of Smackaroos, just not sure if they are any good or would withstand baking again...  I guess pita chips are an option, too.

I am thinking of making little pizzas on these crackers with turkey pepperoni and some roasted tomatoes and low fat mozarella or FF ricotta...any ideas?

So Happy Friday, and enjoy your weekend!  And thanks for all the kind words and encouragement on my post yesterday-love you guys.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Mirrors are shattering across the world today...

My buddy, Alan, was nice enough to send me a Long Beach Polar Bears sweatshirt, as I had wondered where and when I could get one, being my obvious connection to all things Polar...

BUTTTTTTT, and that is one huge but, he said I had to take a GD picture in it when it arrived.

Well, since he has UPS tracking, I guess I can't pretend I never got it...

Folks, I am SO NOT a picture taker, that I had no idea where to look and I left on my nerdy glasses-what a rube I am...within 5 seconds of taking this picture, my mirror shattered.  I believe before it did I heard it gasp a last breath and whisper that it's existence would never be the same so it was going to self-destruct.

Damn you Alan for making me take this mother freaking picture!!! ;-)  And no there is no gratuitous tit shot thrown in here for good measure.  I'm not that nice.

But seriously thanks again, great shirt!

As for my Hot 100 update, let's see...

1.  Get to goal by Jan 1-hmmm, I am another 3 pounds down last week, so the scale is going in the right direction, but whether it will go down that far in time is beyond me.  I have stopped trying to figure out why no matter what I do or eat I keep losing only 3 pounds.

2.  Umm, stay under 2K calories per day on the holidays, so far so good, but have not crossed a holiday yet.  Halloween won't be a problem since I won't be even going to a store with a Halloween candy isle.

3.  Have a week without a loss-this will happen even if I have to start chopping off body parts...so far, no gains-knock on wood, then knock on the wood's wood.

So that is all for right now folks...hasta la vista.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Oh the Guilt!

Not since Sister Christine Marie slapped my hands with a ruler in 8th grade, have a felt so guilty for letting life lure me from exercise.

Sure this is the workout first day I have skipped in almost two months, but I still feel my Catholic guilt welling like a zit on a teenagers nose.

And you know what??  I am SOOOO glad that Sister Christine instilled the fear of God in me and somehow welded my guilty conscience to my soul.

In many instances, such as when I think about Polar's death, guilt keeps me up staring at the ceiling, makes me a sobbing fetal ball on my living room floor at 2 am, makes me feel sick to my stomach and dry heave during rush hour...

But when it comes to diet, for me, guilt keeps me on the Non-Gravy Train.  It makes me work out when I really don't want to, when I even think about that dark chocolate in my fridge, when I think about snacking at work...

For me, to modify from Michael Douchebag Douglas, GUILT IS GOOD.

If guilt hamstrings you, makes you binge, adds to your dieting torment, I understand, but I also feel sorry for you.  For once, for me, I feel like God got it right and gave me a little nugget, a tool I can use to my advantage-therefore, my guilt is welcome anytime.

Dammit, I guess I gotta workout now.  ;-)

Dinner- 4 oz. salmon patty, 3 tbsp pico de gallo

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Crap or get off the Pot

You ever have a fantasy, and I'm not talking about a nekkid one, gutter dwellers...

What is a lurid fantasy without a black horse??

I'm talking about a reel that you have meshed together from several memories, that plays over and over again?

Wayne's World pop culture reference
Well, I have several of these...one involves showing up a my high school reunion all sexified...

Bad movie-but eerily close to the mark...
This occurs even though I don't keep up with anyone from high school, don't really care for anyone enough to go ( I made closer friends in college), and wasn't unpopular so it wouldn't be a 'how do you like me now' moment...

Kicking butt and taking names

I let it replay in my head, because honestly it keeps me motivated and off the pizza.  That and the hope to live into old age, that is...

However, another that drives me is maybe not such a dream, as I would REALLY like to take a stab at it.  Honestly, only my husband knows that I am so close to trying to reach this gold ring...

  And that is going to medical school after I finish my PhD...
Of course this is me!  (minus 50 more pounds that is...)
I love research, but would like to undertake clinical and translational research and be able to handle both sides of the equation-lab science AND patient care, so for this an MD is also necessary.  So, yes, I want the best of both worlds.

I have already looked into funding-signing to a military branch so that I do not need school loans, is the way I would go.  Furthermore, this would allow me to work at a military hospital, which would be very appealing to me-to serve my country without having to do pullups.

This lizard can do more pull ups than me...
I have looked into the classes I would need to and want to retake, for me to be an appealing candidate to a good medical school.

I have even looked into taking the MCAT, which scares the hell out of me to be honest...
Biting off more than I can chew?
I also contacted schools about their admittance policies for non-traditional students-those not directly out of their undergrad into medical school, or those whose expertise/value is not necessarily a high undergrad GPA.

Did I mention that I still have to finish my PhD???  Yes, I have classes, but for the most part am done with those, but I still have seminars/works in progress, and literature discussions, and oh 40+ hours a week in the lab-40 in a good week, that is...necessary to publish papers needed to graduate and finish my research dissertation-it's near impossible to do anything on the side...

And you know what my boss is like...

The positives about this whole thing-
-my boss is an MD so he has connections in our med school
-state med schools in Texas have to accept the majority of their applicants instate

Along with losing weight, this has become my obsession over the past year-and now that I am losing weight, I feel I need to make a decision one way or the other about this...
Hubby is very supportive and will stand behind me whatever I decide, but now I realize I need more objective opinions...