Polar Bear

Polar Bear
My Boy

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

When 'obesity' doesn't bother you anymore

Since I go to many science seminars, and because cardiovascular disease (what I work on) is largely connected to metabolic diseases, such as diabetes, I hear alot about fat.
White adipose, brown adipose, lean mass etc...  But one word that comes up often is obesity-for obvious reasons.  'Obesity' made me cringe.

Before I started my diet, I used to constantly think that whenever a speaker mentioned the word 'obesity' that he/she specifically didn't look at me because I was obese, or that everyone in the room (behind my field of vision of course) is staring at the obese back of my head.

Such thoughts use to rub at my subconscious, "SHE is obese, how could she let herself get so fat", "that mouse that can't clear plasma fats is huge, I bet it's fat cells look just like HERS".  And so on... The paranoia was endless really.

However I think I turned a corner this morning, as our speaker in lab meeting was talking about various kinds of adipose and body fat measurements, and I didn't feel so much like the elephant in the room as I used to...

In fact I asked a question-that may or may not have required me to speak the 'o' word outside of my head, honestly I cannot remember as it was such a rush just to speak up for once.  

And I didn't feel like a blubbery, gross mess, or that others thought of me that way.
  I felt completely AVERAGE-though I am not quite there yet as the scale likes to remind me-but I blended into the wallpaper-and that was SO COOL with me!!


Anonymous said...

I get the same feeling when people talk about somebody's body/weight when I'm around...awkward. What an awesome side effect to weight loss to get rid of that complex!

Kelly said...

That must have been a great feeling! I can't wait to just feel "average"!

Mom to the Fourth Power said...

When I first watched "Wal-e" and it showed those heavy humans on the ship, I was embarrassed because I felt like it represented my husband and I. I was ashamed to watch that, and thought that everyone who watched it would think of me (or us).
Whew! It's nice to have that feeling gone!!

Bethanny said...

You think you look bigger than you actually do. In your pics you do not look fat or obese for that matter. You look beautiful and normal :) I do know what you mean though. Have you ever been in a group of people and looked around and realized that you were the biggest woman? I have. SUX. Hope that never happens again unless I am around little people.

Anonymous said...

I have always felt that way too and I thought it was just me being me. I'm so glad to know other people have thought this.

Moderate Means said...

I know that feeling exactly! I'm still the obese woman, though...but I'm working on it :)

By the way, I love the pics you find for your posts!


Lala said...

oh, you crack me up!!!! Love the pix! Your grandma story is so funny, too. I have been a little checked out, but caught up today. The stank-eye picture rules!!!

Ginger aka Gidget said...

I still get a little paranoid during Shrek because I think that Fiona looks like me when she's an ogre. LOL!

Anonymous said...

Very cool breakthrough!!! Kudos!

Charlotte said...

Oh, yes, I've been there too. Mom to the Fourth Power - I thought the same thing when I watched that movie too! So I guess the makers of the movie got their point across. And I do think it's a good point.

Before I was ever overweight, I always wanted to stand out and be different. After I was obese, I wanted to blend in and be normal. So blending in can be a good thing. Way to blend in!