Polar Bear

Polar Bear
My Boy

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Hell-bent and Intolerant of Crap

Need to vent-warning this will be worse than the Oprah thing...and if you aren't a sports fan skip up to the dotted line.

Last night hubby and I went to see the first ALCS baseball game-the Texas Rangers versus the New York Yankees.  In addition to my obvious unnatural obsession with Derek Jeter, I have been a die-hard Yankees fan for almost 24 years.  

Yeah, he's hideous.

Which I might add is much less than my grandmother's 85+ years of being a fan.  She was a fan back in the days of Ruth, and Gehrig, all the way through DiMaggio, Mantle and Maris-so I guess it's genetic.  She could not go with us to the game, mainly because she has alot of health issues, but also because she is 96 and it is not a good idea to have maggoty kids breath and wipe their boogery fingers on her.  So she chilled at home with Satan spawn-they were rapty attentive to the game on TBS...

Not sure which is more spoiled...
So being a Yankees fan, I have been lucky to see many postseason baseball games.  However, it was painfully obvious that the Rangers fans had not seen a playoff game in over a decade.  PAIN-FULL-Y.

Not only did we have about 5 petri-dishes sitting in our row with equally annoying and gross parents, but then every inning, kids were up with parents to empty their pea-sized bladders, and returned with monster sodas and cotton candy/nachos/nasty hotdogs/etc.  Just crap.  That they ate half of...fucking squanderers!!

What's worse is that their parents, having obviously bought tickets for the first time, had NO baseball etiquette.

So here are my rules for observing sports-for all of you to follow and take to your graves.  Maybe you know these, maybe you don't-but I strongly suggest adherence, because any shred of patience I had was lost last night-and if you screw these up and are sitting by me I will go ape-shit on your ass.  I swear.  


1.  If you have to go to the bathroom, wait until the current play/batter/point is done-or wait for a break in play completely-like a timeout or half inning.  Please.  Because next time not only will I trip you on your way out the aisle, but I'll kick your aggravating ass down the stairs.  On accident of course.  I swear, Your Honor.

2.  If EVERYONE in front of you is sitting, and you are standing, turn around.  I guarantee everyone is either sitting and looking at you with the anger of a thousand suns, or standing and staring at you with the anger of a thousand hornets because their legs are cramping up a storm.  SO SIT THE FUCK DOWN.  Standing for important game changers and cheering is totally cool, or if it is tradition for everyone to stand all the time...

3.  If you are very annoyingly cheering and shouting and being horrible to warrant baby midget kicks in the shins, then when the tides turn and your team is losing, do NOT get angry or yell at the other teams fans for cheering.  Do not tell them to sit down and shut up.  I agree that no matter who your team is, taunting is not cool, but turn about is fair play.    Suck it up, shit happens and your team may choke on a splinter so don't count your chickens.  You get me?

4.  Act like you've been there before.  What I mean by this is that going apeshit because your team hasn't been there in 10+ years, then getting pissed and BOOING when your team starts losing is absolutely ridiculous.  Sports, like in life, are filled with ups and downs-don't let everything ride all the time or you'll drop dead, look for the ups, but save some staying power for the downs.
Anyway, I just had to say something, because all this crap made me realize that I am THE most impatient and intolerant person in the world.  I am physically incapable of dealing with morons.

On the plus side, I realized this lends me very well when it comes to dieting.  Let me explain...

Many bloggers have told me that as long as I am losing, that I should be happy that the scale is going in the right direction-and I really appreciate this support.  But the reason I get so worked up when I lose small amounts, is that my impatience is eating me from the inside out.  See, on Medifast, I eat 5 meal replacements a day, which are bars/shakes/crackery things etc high in protein, low in carbs and calories and around 100 calories a piece.  Then I eat one lean and green meal (protein+veggies).

I am so FUCKING sick of eating like this, however, it is super easy.  However, anything I can do to shorten the time I have to eat like this I will do-aside from cutting calories or increasing my exercise, which is not healthy or allowed on this plan.  Therefore, I bust my butt, I don't cheat, and I am religious with this shit, because I CANNOT wait to be skinny.

Literally and physically, I want to be done SOON.  So I can get into maintenance and wear skinny clothes.  So sue me if that sounds harsh or materialistic.  Fuck that, the sooner I am done, the better-because I guarantee you that losing weight quickly is healthier than being obese-a lesser of two evils.  Oh, and did I mention that Medifast is EXPENSIVE?  My health is worth it, but a few bucks saved would be nice.

Many people tell me I am doing so well, that I inspire them to do well, that my progress is great.  So what if my success is due in part to some of my worse qualities.  I figured these 'issues' of mine had to help me out eventually... ;-)

So I lost 3.5 pounds this week, but it is probably more like 3 pounds since I was wearing lighter clothes.  

So my question to you is what is the difference in your attitude or mindframe between your 'good eating' weeks, and those in which you are a little more lax (not necessarily cheating but not as strict)?  
For instance, do you trust your dieting process too much and lose a little focus or relax? Do you restrict less because you are happy with your losses?  Do you placate yourself by saying 'I should not lose too much weight/week' and therefore allow certain foods that you don't necessarily need to eat?

I am glad to know there aren't other people like me who are immensely impatient and overanalytical, because it is exhausting and stressful, but maybe sometimes a bee in the bonnet is a good motivator to get moving...thoughts?


jennifer said...

I'm not saying that the way you do things is for me, BUT if I were a little bit more like you I would weigh a lot less right now! Sometimes in reading your posts I think that you're way too harsh on yourself, but this post has given me more understanding as to your reasons for that. Your drive and determination inspire me and cause me to look closer at my own relationship to food-to be honest, I've been ignoring it and making excuses to myself. Basically, because I run, I've been justiying a lot of calories that I didn't need to consume, and I've just been feeling sorry for myself when it comes to my weight. At least you own it and have power over your decisions, and you're seeing major results. I'm sick of my own wishy washy bullshit and am finally making the commitment to weight loss that I should have made 6 months ago!

Karla said...

I kind of understand wanting off the Medifast food, I tried it and didn't care for it.

I think 3.5 pounds is an amazing week!!! Good for you!!! 32 pounds so far is wowsa!!!

The Fat Mom said...

I'm impatient as a mofo! I want this weight gone now, and I'm tired of waiting. When I look at the bigger picture of losing 175 pounds at 2 pounds a week.....WTF! How the hell am I going to stick to it? Anyways, I understand; I get it!

Weeks that I tend to slack off are when I'm just plain tired of trying so damn hard. I want to be "normal" and eat "normal". Whatever normal is.

Val said...

First of all (please don't hit me!) I'm a *huuuuge* Rangers fan, so this post cracked.me.the.hell.up.
Now I have NO EXCUSE for the mongoloids you had to deal with, but I do promise my family knows better-honest!
Also this: "I am physically incapable of dealing with morons" made me laugh out loud, cause that's pretty much my job description!!!
I think a little more impatience would help me in my weight loss. . . I'm kinda global in that sense, so I don't necessarily push myself enough.
That being said, I'd be over the moon with 3 lbs. Just saying.
Thanks for the laughs! Hope your week starts great!

cmoursler said...

I hate people in movie theaters who talk on their cell phones or AT the screen.
They can't hear you IN ANY case...
so shut up.
now on to the rest:

I don't do that.
I did that once.
I ate the same thing day in and day out in hopes that one day I would be skinny and be normal.
It was called atkins induction
for six months.
I will never be 'normal' that way.
I had to learn to eat the way I am going to eat at 130 pounds.
The way I am going to have to eat for the rest of my life.
I know some people don't believe in that..
they are on the expressway of weightloss.
For morbidly obese individuals, The sooner you get it all off...or the majority off...the better.
The fat can and will kill you.
But once you start closing in on goal, it's
time to slow down and begin to cope with food.
What will you do during the holidays, how will you cope with birthdays and special occasions.
How will you cope with stress when all the restrictions are taken away and suddenly it's up to you, how much you eat, what you eat...which foods trigger cravings and which foods keep you full.
These questions need to be answered.
How many calories will you need to maintain your weight?
How much exercise?
The number isn't the finish line.
You will never be done, so this is not a sprint, it's a marathon.
Now how you get to the end of the beginning...is up to you.
But remember..you've been fat for a long time.
You are getting more unfat by the week.
The hours will go by one way or the other.
Impatience does nothing but cause meltdowns.
Let the time come and go..and in the meantime..while you are getting healthy, enjoy your life.
I love wearing pretty clothes, looking pretty..wearing makeup.
there is nothing wrong with that.
This was your freindly neighborhood blogger stopping in for the world's longest comment.

Lanie Painie said...

More power to you if what you're doing is working for you and your life, then go for it!

Me, I have to worry about a sensitive little girl learning how to respect food and nutrition and grow up with a healthy attitude towards food. I'm working on setting a good example of eating lots of fruits and veggies, lean protein, and not so many treats. Not as fast as your way but so far, so good! I can wait.