Polar Bear

Polar Bear
My Boy

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

"Jillian" starts with a "B"

This Thanksgiving I will be thankful for many little things...

It's amazing how we lose sight of the small joys in life-
like being able to sit to pee.

Yes, Jillian Michaels took that little joy away from me, so this Thanksgiving I wish her a burnt turkey...

Ok, who am I kidding?  I would not wish bad food on my worst enemy, but seriously, her 30 day Shred is NO joke.

After seeing The Biggest Loser for years with her tough love whipping couch potatoes into a fine mash puree, I should have known better.

Sure I do the elliptical 6 days a week, and sure I survived p90x, and of course I discounted the myriads of great reviews on her DVD touting their wonderful fit agony when I was browsing Amazon...

So my brilliant head stated "how can 25 minutes of exercise be that hard?"  And "I can do anything for 25 minutes".  That last statement is true, and I have done her DVD start to finish without missing a beat...but the next morning-whew!

As I was looking for the tire tracks marring my pretty bed coverlet from the truck that plowed me over, I remembered the semi was none other than Miss Peterbuilt herself-Jillian the Villian.  (Yes, I know I spelled it wrong, but I rhymes and emphasizes my drama!)

From the waist down, I am useless (that's what he said, ba-dump-dum).  So I stretched, I popped some ibu's, I stretched again, and yet urination may as well be a four letter word.

First he only gains 5 pounds while eating double the crap that I was, now he gets to stand to pee-more evidence that my husband has made a deal with the devil.  Bastard.

This is SO inconvenient, as I truly need all my muscle coordination and faculties in order to use my extra pounds for the good of mankind and kick some Black Friday ass...

Anyway, besides LOVING my new JM DVD, nothing else new here, eating well, exercising to the best of my hobbled abilities, and plugging forward.

Stay safe and sane this holiday-and if you see any good online black friday ads for an LCD/LED 50+ inch TV, let me know!


Julie said...

I have to start over with Jillian too. Last January I yelled, stomped (when able) and turned off her voice because I was sure she was going to kill me off and to think I was doing it willingly. HUH!!!
Because I'm not sure I'll be able to afford the gym after Christmas I am getting my DVD's in order. Jillian is in the pile along with Bob (I like his better but I know I'm not working as hard either) and I need to pick up a few more.
Good luck and I know you can do it and soon you can sit down again to go potty. Until then, aim because clean up is just as hard...that floor is way to far away. :o)
Take care and have a blessed Thanksgiving.

Miesha Roshawn said...

Just wait until you move up to Ripped In 30!!! WHOA!!! I will be writing a piggy back post to the comment you left me :-)