I told you all a week and a half ago that I lost four pounds. So last week I was determined to repeat that performance or at least come close with my typical 3 pound loss...
Since I write down all my food/water intake and exercise output, I repeated what I did-EXACTLY. Except...
TMI alert-I had not done #2 in three days prior to my weigh in, and I got my period for the first time in three months the day prior to weigh in.
So the scale on Saturday said...up 1 pound. Pissed isn't even the word to describe how I STILL feel.
I feel like my body cheated me. I burn 500-1000 calories a day EVERYDAY in workouts. I eat like a friggin rabbit consuming 1000-1200 calories max EVERYDAY. I drink at least 100 ounces of water EVERYDAY. I haven't eaten processed food in God knows how long. I have consumed minimal sodium for 14 weeks. This all has been constant for 14 weeks and a total loss of 45 pounds. SO...what is the GD problem????
Everyone says that weight loss is a team sport in terms of having outside support helps you succeed more, but when it comes down to it, only I can actually do what's necessary to lose the weight. It's all under my control alone. BUT...
If I do everything in my literal power to lose weight, follow the rules, DON"T CHEAT, bust my ass, and still have a GAIN, WTF is wrong with this picture? How much control do we really have over weight loss after we do our best??? NOTHING. Sometimes numbers don't add up-my last week was a prime example and this is not cool at all.
This past weekend after weigh-in was the first time I have seriously considered scrapping it all-dieting is EXPENSIVE and I am not eating this boring shit for fun-so if the hard work doesn't pay off then what is the point? The sense of helplessness and inadequacy and impotency was overwhelming. Don't even tell me 'it's only one week' or 'it's only a pound'.
See-there is no excuse-there was no extra 14000 calories-by calorie and exercise calculations I should have lost at least 3 pounds last week. So in essence I gained FOUR! How the fuck did that happen???? Unless I have started sleep walking down to the 7-eleven to sleep-eat bags of candy in the middle of the night, this is impossible-but it HAPPENED so said two different scales.
Unacceptable. This is bullshit. Fuck mother nature and this GD diet. I need chocolate.