Polar Bear

Polar Bear
My Boy

Monday, November 22, 2010

Dumbfounded or just plain ol' Dumb

I told you all a week and a half ago that I lost four pounds.  So last week I was determined to repeat that performance or at least come close with my typical 3 pound loss...

Since I write down all my food/water intake and exercise output, I repeated what I did-EXACTLY.  Except...

TMI alert-I had not done #2 in three days prior to my weigh in, and I got my period for the first time in three months the day prior to weigh in.

So the scale on Saturday said...up 1 pound.  Pissed isn't even the word to describe how I STILL feel.

I feel like my body cheated me.  I burn 500-1000 calories a day EVERYDAY in workouts.  I eat like a friggin rabbit consuming 1000-1200 calories max EVERYDAY.  I drink at least 100 ounces of water EVERYDAY.  I haven't eaten processed food in God knows how long.  I have consumed minimal sodium for 14 weeks.  This all has been constant for 14 weeks and a total loss of 45 pounds.  SO...what is the GD problem????

Everyone says that weight loss is a team sport in terms of having outside support helps you succeed more, but when it comes down to it, only I can actually do what's necessary to lose the weight.  It's all under my control alone.  BUT...

If I do everything in my literal power to lose weight, follow the rules, DON"T CHEAT, bust my ass, and still have a GAIN, WTF is wrong with this picture?  How much control do we really have over weight loss after we do our best???  NOTHING. Sometimes numbers don't add up-my last week was a prime example and this is not cool at all. 

This past weekend after weigh-in was the first time I have seriously considered scrapping it all-dieting is EXPENSIVE and I am not eating this boring shit for fun-so if the hard work doesn't pay off then what is the point?  The sense of helplessness and inadequacy and impotency was overwhelming.  Don't even tell me 'it's only one week' or 'it's only a pound'.  

See-there is no excuse-there was no extra 14000 calories-by calorie and exercise calculations I should have lost at least 3 pounds last week. So in essence I gained FOUR!  How the fuck did that happen????  Unless I have started sleep walking down to the 7-eleven to sleep-eat bags of candy in the middle of the night, this is impossible-but it HAPPENED so said two different scales.


Unacceptable.  This is bullshit.  Fuck mother nature and this GD diet.  I need chocolate.

8 comments:

Katie J said...

DO NOT QUIT!!! It is NOT an option! Yes, you gained and given the fact TOM came and the lack of #2 can have a major effect. Hormones can reek havoc with WL too so please please please don't throw in the towel. You have made MAJOR progress so far.

Thanks for the comment on my post today. Nice to know I am not alone ;-)

Lanie Painie said...

It's the universe's way of keeping us in check - making us realize that we're not really as "in control" of things as we like to think we are.

Also, when Aunt Flo is putting her big ugly foot on the scale behind you, you haven't got a chance. 3 months worth of endometrius is not a small amount. I bet a few days it will be gone.

Crazy Fat Girl said...

Step away from the chocolate!

The bitch is you could probably eat a giant meal tonight and tomorrow be down 5 lbs... but you know what? You'll be down 5 lbs in a few days anyway. Your body will catch up. I know you are pissed, but hang in there! That stupid f*ing scale doesn't control you!

Jennifer said...

I have written this post before!!!!! I swear!!! One of two things is probably happening. When I was on MF I lost pretty quick for a while. Then it just stopped. I had started exercising and as it turned out I wasnt eating enough calories for the exercise I was doing. I stopped the exercise and the weight started coming off again. But at that point I was down quite a bit of weight and decided to come off MF so I could continue to exercise since I was finally capable! So, if this is the case, then do a little test and cut your exercise at least in half and see what happens. And I swear, if you go back into my archives you will see this same post...right down to the "no way I consumed XXXXXX, 000 calories to deserve the gain!!! Been there sister! And, even when I came off MF, I recently discovered I still wasnt eating enough and my body wouldnt lose anything....it would hold onto everything I ate :(

The other option: your period and I swear poop weighs a lot...Think about it...what goes in must come out. And if it doesnt it equals extra pounds!!!!

Hang in there girl. I have been there...and you will get through it too!

Jennifer
http://wecanlosethepounds.blogspot.com/

Jennifer said...

Got your message on my blog. And I could have written that myself too...as frustrating as it is. I swear, read back into my archives when I was still on MF. It was in the beginning when I first started the blog. If you think about it does make perfect sense that your body go into "preservation" mode if you exercise too much and not eat enough for your exercise level. I prefer that term over starvation mode because clearly I am/was overweight and starving is not an option..haha. Anyway... there is a site online that I found that tells you about resting metabolic rate(RMR or BMR). It gets confusing but I am guessing you are smart :) so as soon as you read it it will make sense. Anyway, the site says you need to eat at least what your body requires to function (lungs, liver, etc) if you just sat there all day, with no exercise taken into consideration. this is your metabolic rate. Andd I have to tell you that I completely understand your whole guilty without exercise thing and that is why I ultimately came off MF. Because I was finally capable of exercise and I even liked it. Who knew right? Anyway, do a little research on resting metabolic rate. When you eat less than what your body requires it will burn lots of pounds at first but then stall out. Make sure a lot of your exercise is weight training to maintain lean muscle. If you are staying on MF maybe try to add more protein by eating more meat without adding the carbs? And also, when I was on MF I found I couldnt run on the diet because I would feel sick a lot. Not enough carbs. again...who knew? This has been one crazy learning lesson on this journey for me! I ran into the same "preservation mode" and for the last 5 months my weight had not budged. I felt guilty eating over 1200 calories. And when I did I would gain a chunk of weight (very unfairly). then it woudl take me weeks to get it off. I refused to exercise less and just didnt get WHY the weight wasnt coming off. A few weeks back I upped my calories to around 1500 and dont you know the darn weight starting coming off again? Another lesson learned by me.

Now, all of this is just MY experience so it doesnt necessarily mean it is the same for you. But I bet if youlay off the exercise your numbers will get better again. Let me know if you need that site and I will look it up for you!!

Wow...this turned into a novel...sorry :(

Ice Queen said...

Take a deep breath.

Take another.

Okay...

I have had the same damned thing happen to me more times than I would like to count. My body plays tricks on me that my mind can't even begin to keep up with and it drives me fucking in. sane!

But, if I stay on track, keep working, things do even out and the loss picks back up and all is well in my little world, again.

We women are "blessed" with screwy systems, fo shiz. And shit like this just seems to happen. Don't let it beat you up and throw you off. Keep on keeping on and you will see, it will all be okay.

Charlotte said...

I hate that! Like others have said, I too could have written this post. And it DOES suck!

But don't you dare give up!

Next week when you weigh, you'll probably find yourself breathing a sigh of relief at a big ol' loss.

You're rockin' it here, so don't let one jacked-up weigh-in be your undoing. Don't let that scale beat you. Just do what you've been doing again this week.

I'm ready to see your next weigh-in showing that you had a major loss. Go do #2, get over Aunt Flo, and keep up what you've been doing. You'll see!

Michele said...

I agree with all the comments above. Don't give up. It sucks that these things happen, but it is the way your body responds. Breathe. Keep at it. Don;t eat!