I watched the Biggest Loser "where are they now?" special the other night, and found one thing VERY interesting...
All these former contestants are very involved in health movements, prevention of childhood obesity, diabetes, etc...and whether or not they are really in it for the paycheck I don't know since I don't read minds, unfortunately, and am not closely acquainted with any of them.
However, one thing that was repeatedly mentioned was that these noble skinny folk wanted to "pay it forward", and were therefore doing their part to help others as they had been helped.
I have mentioned before that weight loss is a team sport in which every other team member stands on the sidelines to cheer as I/you compete alone. And I know all too well that this is not a game, and it is certainly not fun.
But by doing our part to help ourselves, while not on a national stage on TV, are we in part helping others to become better themselves? Is just the action of what we do for ourselves creating a circle of change around us?
My husband, while skinny, had never really been fit before I started riding his ass about him needing to change and exercise so he could wipe the drool from my wrinkled old mouth in 50 years. Now he does his workouts himself, without his nagging wife following him with the cattle prod.
And he likes himself a whole lot more, the way his body is changing, the way he knows he can beat the crap out of his brothers if he wants to, the way he can give me free tickets to the gun show any time he wants. He eats better, has more energy, doesn't fall asleep on the chair all the time.
My mother, after crying wolf for years and telling me she is going to lose 15-20 pounds and get rid of her gut, is FINALLY using the elliptical my Dad bought, and the reclining bike we gave her. Coincidence that this finally happens when I am losing weight?? I think not.
So though I am not hosting 5K races, or talking to large rooms of people on the edge of their seats, maybe just my day in and day out struggle is making a difference for others, too. Maybe not, maybe I am imagining it all, but I am the first person to admit that I am not a superstar, and have longed to fly under the radar since I became fat some years ago.
But on this day of giving thanks, I certainly am not thankful for my motivation for this diet, losing my boy. I am not thankful that I eat boring shit day in and out, that pooping regularly is a struggle, that I drink so much water that I am in a constant state of bloat. I hate this diet, I hate having to lose weight, I hate P90X and the giant elliptical beast in the middle of my living room.
But do I love my husband and my mom enough to power through this shit storm? You bet the cellulite on my ass I do, and so this day I am thankful for being loved enough to effect a positive change in others no matter what I have to do to myself to cause the change.
So today I will 'be the change I wish to see in the world'. That Gandhi was one smart dude.
Hot 100 update:
1. Gained a pound last week somehow
2. Have a week with a loss
3. No days eating over 2000 calories