The more I travel along this weight loss highway, the more I realize that my relationship with food is 'addictive'.
I already knew I was addicted to hot spicy foods, because of the capsacin that peppery stuff has releases endorphins. I learned this through science.
But realizing once and for all that I am a recovering addict came when driving to work listening to the radio.
The Eagles' 'Hotel California' came on...knowing that I am a smart cookie, I finally realized after listening to this song for about the thousandth time that it is about addiction-specifically cocaine.
While I thank God that my addiction is to food and not a narcotic-the words sung true with me..."we are all just prisoners here, of our own device".
Seriously relevant-"you can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave". Like the majority of addicts, I know that one day I may, too, relapse. Or maybe my past few fat years have been my relapse...
Regardless I'm not sure I will ever lose that addict mentality, and will always have to watch myself around food. Maybe that is the difference between being 'just' a few pounds overweight and being an 'up at dawn, dreaming about food, planning my next snack all day long' obese person.
Maybe recognizing that I am this recovering addict will make me more careful, and be aware of my vulnerability around food. Maybe a healthy fear is even useful... Maybe being all rough and tough willpower won't get me all the way there...I don't know, but I'm figuring more and more out as I go-even if I have to rely on a little help from my rockstar friends. ;-)
Hot 100 update for this week:
1. Lost 2 pounds this week-so happy about that since I switched up my workout to include P90X-barfy mc barferton BUT my muscles are visible again.
2. Still no week without a loss-and past one big sugary holiday!
3. Still have not spent a day over 2000 calories-most days I hover just under 1000...