The more I travel along this weight loss highway, the more I realize that my relationship with food is 'addictive'.
I already knew I was addicted to hot spicy foods, because of the capsacin that peppery stuff has releases endorphins. I learned this through science.
But realizing once and for all that I am a recovering addict came when driving to work listening to the radio.
The Eagles' 'Hotel California' came on...knowing that I am a smart cookie, I finally realized after listening to this song for about the thousandth time that it is about addiction-specifically cocaine.
While I thank God that my addiction is to food and not a narcotic-the words sung true with me..."we are all just prisoners here, of our own device".
Seriously relevant-"you can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave". Like the majority of addicts, I know that one day I may, too, relapse. Or maybe my past few fat years have been my relapse...
Regardless I'm not sure I will ever lose that addict mentality, and will always have to watch myself around food. Maybe that is the difference between being 'just' a few pounds overweight and being an 'up at dawn, dreaming about food, planning my next snack all day long' obese person.
Maybe recognizing that I am this recovering addict will make me more careful, and be aware of my vulnerability around food. Maybe a healthy fear is even useful... Maybe being all rough and tough willpower won't get me all the way there...I don't know, but I'm figuring more and more out as I go-even if I have to rely on a little help from my rockstar friends. ;-)
Hot 100 update for this week:
1. Lost 2 pounds this week-so happy about that since I switched up my workout to include P90X-barfy mc barferton BUT my muscles are visible again.
2. Still no week without a loss-and past one big sugary holiday!
3. Still have not spent a day over 2000 calories-most days I hover just under 1000...
5 comments:
And fell out of my life
Good for you!! This post was interesting to me because just today I was thinking about certain foods that I sooooo crave and wondering if the word "addiction" is the word I should be using. And then the word "abstain" is the next word that came to mind. Sigh.
I know I'm addicted to food. It sucks major donkey balls. In my opinion, food addiction is the worst thing to go through. With alcohol, porn, or drugs you don't NEED those things to survive (not sure why I threw porn in there, that's just how I roll). Every person NEEDS food to survive. It's not just something you can give up cold turkey. I'm trying hard to eat to live....not live to eat.
Good job on your goals this week. P90X kicks some ass!
Woot!! Good job!
Re: Hotel California - this is one of my favorite songs. I think it can be interpreted at so many levels. I once read an summary of how it was talking about divorce. I laughed it away, but after I read that I could see it in the song. There are certainly drug references though.
~South Beach Steve
I was sort of mulling this over today, actually. I've spent the last few months exercising and completely ignoring my food intake because I didn't want to be burdened with counting calories. It feels so constraining and its constant, you never get away from it. I've finally realized that this is just going to have to be a part of my life forever because left to my own devices I WILL consume massive amounts of horrible food. It's totally an addiction, and it sucks. Thats why I can never have just one piece of cake! I always end up having at least three. I wonder if that will ever change? Or is that like a heroin addict wondering if she will ever be able to have just one hit?
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