And since I am not one to call people out-unless by 'people' I mean 'me', I'll call out myself first. Being cooped up in the house everyday but Monday and Thursday this week has made me stir crazy. Bored out of my gourd. This is where you may come in-seems the majority of us do BAAAAAAAAD things when we are bored.
For me, earlier in the week, I was eating everything not nailed down. I even nibbled on a couch.
Thankfully, I know this is one of my many piggy-triggers...being bored. So we stopped keeping anything bad in the house a long time ago-read: oreos, doritos, cookie dough, real cheese dip, fake cheese dip, all cheese-impersonating items, and of course, anything that smells remotely of cheese.
So when I went ape-shit crazy earlier in the week, I ate a whole container of Cherub grape tomatoes before Thursday, 20 pieces of turkey pepperoni, and more than my quota of diet sodas-this is off plan. Thankfully no damage was done, and I'm back on the non-snacking horse. Sure the items are not THAT bad, but if you could have seen me (think of a gremlin after midnight), you would have been shocked...Hair sticking up in every direction, barely brushed teeth, same sweats and socks, stuffing my cheeks like a squirrel in the fall.
And my friends, I KNOW many of you did the same. Well, probably because you wrote about it guiltily on your blogs.
I am all for not repeating history's mistakes, but let's be honest-that's what humans do as creatures of habit-and no one needs to be crucified for relapsing from addiction. But how will you respond when you fall? Wait to get back on the wagon next week? Wait till the kids are back at school? Wait till you can drive to the gym? After a Valentine's Day celebration?
Sadly, I have heard ALL these excuses and more to continue bad behavior on other blogs-to let the wagon pass and wait for another to come by, as if it is not in their control and they don't know when the next wagon will stop. And if I hadn't paid alot of money to weigh in each week, I'd probably give in to a few excuses, too.
Maybe. Oh who am I kidding? I freaking HATE being fat, and I am the all time Guinness record holder of IMPATIENCE. I want to lose weight and get it done. Why put off till tomorrow what you can do today? Yeah I didn't think of that cliche, but it fits here. Therefore, I will not put off thindom. I don't expect others to be like this and try to drop weight super fast like how I like to, because we are all on different time tables. But let's face it-losing is losing and healthy change is healthy change no matter how drastic or quick-effort is EFFORT.
And for those who know me, I am a total softy, and I have lots of compassion, sometimes to my own detriment, for those in trouble or fallen on bad times. If you are kind in return, I will give you the shirt off my back and the money from my pocket. My patience for my friends, both bloggy and IRL, is almost limitless. Almost.
But I've got to call bullshit on some of you (without naming names)-in the most compassionate way that I can, of course. Because surprisingly I have come to give a care about a lot of you.
So for those of you on-off-on-off the wagon every other week-heck EVERY OTHER DAY-if you were your own best friend, spouse, family member, weight loss counselor-would you be sick of you?? Would you continue to support, coddle, rescue yourself? For how long?
Don't even try throwing the old 'if you love someone you will love them no matter what' BS. At some point, even our closest family, our biggest fans, get tired of our BS, our rollercoasters of emotion, being gung ho, then falling apart, eating aisle #3, crying on the scale, vowing to weight loss the next week-ET CETERA.
These same peeps will eventually get sick of watching us KILL ourselves, especially when we KNOW the problem, possess the tools, and have the unconditional support in spades.
I love the blogosphere, because it is free group therapy. But here is something to consider-if you ask for help, some confidence building, kick in the ass, whatever you need-then ignore the support week after week, eventually you become PLAYED OUT. If I swear I'm a millionaire, but dress in rags and drive a Pinto Flintstone-style to work, how long before you rolled your eyes and said, "Sure you're a millionaire. Whatever you say." Because you're not my banker, all you know is from what you see. If a picture is worth a 1000 words, then actions are priceless proof.
How some can emotionally regurgitate then swallow their own tired lines every day and think they will still get healthy, then are SURPRISED by gains every week, is beyond me. Really? Are you that shocked? Or is that mock surprise for my benefit? 'Cause baby I was born at night but not last night.
Then you become the BOY WHO CRIED WOLF, figuratively speaking.
No one comes to help you, because you lie to yourself and you lie to us. Then you get eaten alive (fill in whatever failing endpoint you want to here-death, bedridden, morbidly obese for life, never fitting into airplane seats, acquire 5 new co-morbid conditions, countless expensive medications, losing your fans' respect, teaching your kids how to shorten their own lifespans, being that person no one trusts because you NEVER FOLLOW THROUGH).
I am not patient with myself, but I love you guys and I REALLY want you to do well, and I will hold your hand and pump you up when you fall as long as you need it, and if I have ever commented on your blog, then you know that to be true. But if you can't string together a few days of good behavior and put forth SOME effort in at least a mildly consistent manner, then no one, not just me, will help you if you won't try to help yourself.
And the wolf can have you.