Polar Bear

Polar Bear
My Boy

Friday, February 4, 2011

The Boy Who Cried Wolf

The Snowmagator (credit: Patrick) has pretty much swallowed half the country whole, and while it has given me MORE than enough time to catch up on blogs, I am seeing one trend persist across my blogger roll...

And since I am not one to call people out-unless by 'people' I mean 'me', I'll call out myself first.  Being cooped up in the house everyday but Monday and Thursday this week has made me stir crazy.  Bored out of my gourd.  This is where you may come in-seems the majority of us do BAAAAAAAAD things when we are bored.

For me, earlier in the week, I was eating everything not nailed down. I even nibbled on a couch.

Thankfully, I know this is one of my many piggy-triggers...being bored.  So we stopped keeping anything bad in the house a long time ago-read: oreos, doritos, cookie dough, real cheese dip, fake cheese dip, all cheese-impersonating items, and of course, anything that smells remotely of cheese.

So when I went ape-shit crazy earlier in the week, I ate a whole container of Cherub grape tomatoes before Thursday, 20 pieces of turkey pepperoni, and more than my quota of diet sodas-this is off plan.  Thankfully no damage was done, and I'm back on the non-snacking horse.  Sure the items are not THAT bad, but if you could have seen me (think of a gremlin after midnight), you would have been shocked...Hair sticking up in every direction, barely brushed teeth, same sweats and socks, stuffing my cheeks like a squirrel in the fall. 

And my friends, I KNOW many of you did the same.  Well, probably because you wrote about it guiltily on your blogs.

I am all for not repeating history's mistakes, but let's be honest-that's what humans do as creatures of habit-and no one needs to be crucified for relapsing from addiction.  But how will you respond when you fall?  Wait to get back on the wagon next week?  Wait till the kids are back at school?  Wait till you can drive to the gym?  After a Valentine's Day celebration?  

Sadly, I have heard ALL these excuses and more to continue bad behavior on other blogs-to let the wagon pass and wait for another to come by, as if it is not in their control and they don't know when the next wagon will stop.  And if I hadn't paid alot of money to weigh in each week, I'd probably give in to a few excuses, too.

Maybe.  Oh who am I kidding?  I freaking HATE being fat, and I am the all time Guinness record holder of IMPATIENCE.  I want to lose weight and get it done.  Why put off till tomorrow what you can do today?  Yeah I didn't think of that cliche, but it fits here. Therefore, I will not put off thindom.  I don't expect others to be like this and try to drop weight super fast like how I like to, because we are all on different time tables.  But let's face it-losing is losing and healthy change is healthy change no matter how drastic or quick-effort is EFFORT.  

And for those who know me, I am a total softy, and I have lots of compassion, sometimes to my own detriment, for those in trouble or fallen on bad times.  If you are kind in return, I will give you the shirt off my back and the money from my pocket.  My patience for my friends, both bloggy and IRL, is almost limitless.  Almost.

But I've got to call bullshit on some of you (without naming names)-in the most compassionate way that I can, of course.  Because surprisingly I have come to give a care about a lot of you.

So for those of you on-off-on-off the wagon every other week-heck EVERY OTHER DAY-if you were your own best friend, spouse, family member, weight loss counselor-would you be sick of you??  Would you continue to support, coddle, rescue yourself?  For how long?

Don't even try throwing the old 'if you love someone you will love them no matter what' BS.  At some point, even our closest family, our biggest fans, get tired of our BS, our rollercoasters of emotion, being gung ho, then falling apart, eating aisle #3, crying on the scale, vowing to weight loss the next week-ET CETERA.

These same peeps will eventually get sick of watching us KILL ourselves, especially when we KNOW the problem, possess the tools, and have the unconditional support in spades.  

I love the blogosphere, because it is free group therapy.  But here is something to consider-if you ask for help, some confidence building, kick in the ass, whatever you need-then ignore the support week after week, eventually you become PLAYED OUT.  If I swear I'm a millionaire, but dress in rags and drive a Pinto Flintstone-style to work, how long before you rolled your eyes and said, "Sure you're a millionaire.  Whatever you say."  Because you're not my banker, all you know is from what you see.  If a picture is worth a 1000 words, then actions are priceless proof.

How some can emotionally regurgitate then swallow their own tired lines every day and think they will still get healthy, then are SURPRISED by gains every week, is beyond me.  Really?  Are you that shocked?  Or is that mock surprise for my benefit?  'Cause baby I was born at night but not last night.

Then you become the BOY WHO CRIED WOLF, figuratively speaking.  

No one comes to help you, because you lie to yourself and you lie to us.  Then you get eaten alive (fill in whatever failing endpoint you want to here-death, bedridden, morbidly obese for life, never fitting into airplane seats, acquire 5 new co-morbid conditions, countless expensive medications, losing your fans' respect, teaching your kids how to shorten their own lifespans, being that person no one trusts because you NEVER FOLLOW THROUGH).

I am not patient with myself, but I love you guys and I REALLY want you to do well, and I will hold your hand and pump you up when you fall as long as you need it, and if I have ever commented on your blog, then you know that to be true.  But if you can't string together a few days of good behavior and put forth SOME effort in at least a mildly consistent manner, then no one, not just me, will help you if you won't try to help yourself.  

And the wolf can have you.


Anne H said...


Waisting Time said...

Great post! I have thought twice about writing about my continued struggles now and then for this very reason. I am sure my readers sometimes get tired of me making the same mistakes. I know that I do!

Chubby McGee said...

You're right. You're absolutely right. And I'm not sure if I'm one of the guilty parties mentioned in this post (I hope not...since I'm really doing well on the weight loss/eating front, but just struggling with feeling better about myself cuz...damn it...this weight loss crap takes so damn long - grrrrr...). I, too, read others' posts and just want to kick some of my dear, fellow weight-loss bloggers sometimes. Personally, I've come to realize that you just have to suck-it-up and "just do it" if you REALLY WANT TO LOSE THE WEIGHT. You have to do your damndest every, single day with every, single meal/snack. But...I can't believe how many people out there are really doing the whole up-down-up-down thing on a daily basis (most likely when it comes to eating).

All I can do is think that maybe...just maybe...those people don't really want it (yet). It's a very personal thing to REALLLLLLLY want to lose weight and to just suck it up and just do it.

Polar's Mom said...

To clarify a bit, I think anyone who really tries is going to struggle at some point-and we all struggle. BUT if you spend more time TALKING about wanting to lose weight, MAKING excuses when you don't, and JUSTIFYING putting off your next attempt, than you actually do TRYING to lose weight (food+exercise and whatever else)-then there is probably a problem there... I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad, but it's time to crap or get off the pot. No one wants to be invested and try to help someone who continually blows opportunities and ignores steps towards health.

Shannon said...

so true! I have hesitated posting some things trying to not be like that. I do post my downfalls but I try not to dwell to much. great post

Carla said...

I just surfed onto your blog. Great post!

birchgirl said...

Hi, thanks for posting on my blog. Cathy

Rapunzel said...

Love this post! You're telling it like it is, and I for one am listening. :)

Auntie Mandy said...

I think that no matter how dedicated we are to losing weight, all of us can see a little of ourselves in this post. I know I see me. Even though I am 15 pounds from being healthy weight, I am exercising like a mad woman, and not eating animal products, I still tend to eat when I'm not hungry, just for the pleasure of eating. I think I need to get back in my right mindset.

Twix said...

Great point!

I got hungry again yesterday. Not hungry as in hungry but as in HUNGRY (mental) And I went biserk. I ate a whole bag of california vegetables with 1/4 cup cheese and because that wasn't good enough I threw in a chicken sausage. The night before I ate two servings of wild rice and black beans. And last night I must have been crazy - I ate a dark choc kit kat.... bleh. I don't care what it is, we shouldn't eat when it's a mental thing. But I did. And I failed me. Even if I come in on calorie plan... still mental garbage - still crap. :(

This post made me think and smile. Thanks!

Natasha said...

Great post! I totally feel like this was me last year especially. I wanted it, but not bad enough to lay off the excuses and get to work on it.This year I've been working on focusing on one meal and one day so there is no tomorrow, Monday, next month crap. And what do ya know? It's working :) Will hold on to this reminder. I need the support and love my blog for that.

Shannon B. said...

I love love love this post! So well written and straight forward! I agree with you 100% but would never have had the guts to make a post like this and say it.

Jules said...

Oh lordy...I resemble this post! In BOTH ways...too much talking, not enough action...AND the other description ...the last paragraph...that is how I feel too but perhaps about others.
I try NOT to cry wolf..but this journey of trying to find me...often finds the wolf first...


The Merry said...

I know that I only effect change when I push myself. Sometimes, however, I get tired of pushing. The best solution I've found, so far, is to vary the kinds of exercise that I push myself to do.

Beth said...

A great post. Very very well said.

Sometimes we get so full of our own bullshit we can't see anything that even faintly resembles the truth anymore. It's one of those special talents that addicts have.

When I was lost in my own bullshit, I hated anyone who did not coddle me. And my husband raged against my addiction and fought and relentlessly tried to hold me to account. Until one day he didn't. The part of him that believed in me got "bullshit fatigue" and died. And he just gave up. And I didn't really care that he gave up, I just kept on eating.

Until I woke up and and I could finally see the truth of my actions and my heart broke in two. People who tell you the truth when you are up to your eyeballs in your own bullshit are the ones who really care.

Sometimes all we can do is withdraw and watch someone self-destruct and pray to God that they wake up to their own bullshit before they die.

Amy @ Findingfitme said...

Great Post!

My first repsonse, similar to Chubby McGee, was I hope I am not one of the blogger's that inspired this post. Then again, I have to evaluate myself and decide if I am doing all I can.

What I do not do is I don't skip posting about my stuggles, binges, etc. I hate to read that some bloggers have felt the need to NOT write about it. I put it all out there. To me, my blog is my journal and if I don't put my TRUTH there, where is it going?

I understnd the fustration in wanting to see fellow bloggers DO IT. I take a more casual approach to my reading beacse in the in the end it boils down to what I DO, not anyone else. It's just like with family and friends, you want them to suceed and do (drop weight, stop drinking, no drugs, whatever) but they may not and we have to accecpt that. I have a friend I wish I could smack upside the head about her weight but until she is ready, nothing will change. I will be here for her when she is ready to ask, otherwise I don't volunteer help.

Hope this comment didn't go across as gibberish. My 2 cents.

MarshaMarsha said...

Very true. For years I didn't realize I did that until one day I was reading back through my old post and heard the same sad song. I realized I can't keep making bad choices and expecting a good outcome. It's something I still struggle with but definately getting better :) Great Post!

fatgirlwearingthin said...

Honest but lovingly said. This storm has everyone buggy, I think; just add me to the list, please.

Need to Get ME Back said...

Hey there, I'm a new follower, feel free to visit my blog and give me some tough love if I ever need it!

I think you are totally right, it has so much to do with your resolve to do it. Losing weight will never happen if you don't get your head into it and are determined. But everyone has been there with the merry-go-round of excuses, so it's just a part of the process!

Bethanny said...

HAHA. Awesome. I am sick of people complaining about their weight and filling up on junk at the same time. I mean, I have been snowed in and going hard on fruit and veggies, crackers. I still eat cheese though ;)