So I was home alone today, as my husband had to work. And the Demons crept out-I capitalize Demons because I think they deserve respect, and a little bit of fear. If I don't take them seriously, then I don't think I will ever defeat them.
Back to the Demons-screaming at me to eat just one of this or a bit of that. And whaddaya know, the fat me was agreeing with them. Lyn from Escape from Obesity recently posted about a conversation in a restaurant with her inner food nazi. And she had it right. Essentially I agree that giving in quiets the screaming baby, until it screams louder next time to be held, coddled, nurtured-all the way up to being bed-ridden and having me nurse it for the rest of my shortened life.
In a desperate attempt to distract myself, I did laundary, and washed dishes...and yes, you called it-surfed eBay. But something happened on that lovely site, instead of checking out the shoes-which will fit a girl at any size, I decided to look at size 6 dresses. Dresses I could potentially be wearing next February, and that I could wear to my in-laws wedding next June. Dresses so shockingly short, they leave nothing to the imagination. And I thought about my cousin, the black sheep. Showing up to family funerals and weddings alike in tight bandage dresses-fake boobs spilling out the top. And I thought, OMG. I could be her! As early as next February! Slutting about!! Yipee!
Mind you I won't, because I fear I will always see the fat girl in the mirror. But after my eBay stint today, I look forward to dresses-cut short and cut low. And not fearing any cellulite showing should the wind blow. The Demons made a hasty retreat in the face of thigh-high minis and clingy wraps. Ah...February can't come soon enough.