Polar Bear

Polar Bear
My Boy

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

When you love what you do...

...you never work a day in your life.

I just heard that quote on TV, in the background as I hungrily scan through blogs, and it actually caught my attention.

I thought "No Shit!!"  That is so true, and this makes me wonder about skinny people again...or rather how they think differently from myself.

See when I was superfit, many moons ago it seems, I never thought about my body, good or bad, it was SO a non issue.  And back then since I was always training for my sport, working out was "fun", dare I use that word...

I did it because I saw almost instant results on the court.  Tweak a serve after working a hopper of balls, get 5 more aces per match, run sprints, get to more drop shots.  Et cetera ad nauseum.

This made eating not exciting, it was just something I did to fill the time between my athlete life and my sleeping life.  Fill.  The.  Time.

Prior to the diet after fatty-dom struck, food became the main center of my life.  I would rush home from the lab because I was excited about what I was going to eat for a snack, then for dinner.  Seriously, that is messed up.

All this has me now thinking, do healthy & skinny people not work to be skinny and healthy because it's not work-it's just filling time and fueling their real lives?  Or do they consciously think about it, and because they love how they look and feel the exercise and diet feel less like work to them?

I am totally curious, because obviously I took being healthy and skinny for granted, and now I hope to squash my inner self-examining freak and make weight loss secondary to living life.

Don't get me wrong, losing weight is TOTALLY a full time job and needs to be a number one priority, but for me I wish it was less work and more love.  Less obsession and more healthy love and fear.  Because now that eating food is not my center, I hate that giving up food is my center.  

See, I still feel like an addict, just of a different variety, and I still feel like I am missing something central to the whole process...  Maybe it is selfish and stupid but I want to love losing weight like an easy breezy high school kind of love, not an all encompassing college sponge sucking face kind of love.  I also want it to be second nature, because for me, having such a negative stigma for weight loss, which is at the forefront of EVERYTHING I do, makes it that much more work.

And let's face it, no one can go for long living for TGIF and working towards a weekend that is s-l-o-w to come, if ever-I need to back burner this without losing momentum I think.  I need it to be less work, and more a silent habit, if I am to ever define myself as someone other than a perpetual dieter.  I know, I don't ask for much, do I? ;-)


The Fat Mom said...

I would love for one day NOT to worry about food. That it is "just food". It seems so easy for all those skinny people.

Lanie Painie said...

I know what you mean! Some days I think "this just totally sucks" and then I remind myself that I love being healthy more than I love being slothful. Somedays it works, some days not.

You can ask for whatever you want, but as soon as you start expecting it to be handed to you - then you're in trouble.

I have to get the right mindset back on. I may go through and read my blog posts from the beginning and try to inspire myselfal. But I'm afraid I won't be inspiration at all and then what? I worry too much. Paxil time!

fatgirlwearingthin said...

Well, I've been of a normal weight, then fat, now back to normal and I still get excited about what I'm going to have for meals...and yes, I think it's messed up, too. But, I have realized that I am a true blue food addict; plain and simple. No happy ending here; just lots of work. I get so angry sometimes because I keep thinking 'its not fair - I HAVE to eat; how am I supposed to do this?' but whining generally gets me nowhere so...

Twix said...

...college sponge sucking face kind of love... lol!!!

Has someone had thought for food today? :-)

Life as a Caterpillar said...

Yes, i totally understand what you mean. Food is *everything* to me, my life revolves around it, and i envy those who don't have to constantly think about what they are eating next